Retro Humor Aficionados Mugs

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

How We Know You're Getting Old

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

W.C. Fields

Trump to Build Wall

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Marty Feldman

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Cap'n crunches"

This problem began in the 1950's...

"When was this license issued?"

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

Pistols at dawn.

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

Empty window display selling air guitars.

'It was a Christmas present from last year. They're cute when they're puppies.'

Gross Outrage.

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

'Have you seen two men, messy looking, no shirts? They just escaped from the dungeon.'

'Let's barbeque tonight.'