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"Ah, Miss Bergdall, your headache seems much better!"

The Wright Brothers' first flight.

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Peter Cook

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Trump to Build Wall

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

The Enemy

"My, it feels good to sit down."

W.C. Fields

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."