Retro Comedy Fans Gifts

Selling detergents to hippies

Hello Mr. Babcock, this is 1983 calling.

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Trump to Build Wall

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

"When was this license issued?"

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"Cap'n crunches"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

How We Know You're Getting Old

Marty Feldman

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

This problem began in the 1950's...

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'