Retro Sitcom Fan Gifts

Someone's gotten ahold of a scandalous videotape from your youth? Well my early 80s, but yes. I'm busted on tape. Oh no. Oh no no. What was it? Were you

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Before the Internet

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'My eyesight's not what it used to be.'

Trump to Build Wall

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"Where's Waldo and his little-know cousin what's Wanda."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Phil Silvers: Spot the Difference

"When was this license issued?"

'What do you mean you're not drunk? That's the calculator!'

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

Norman Fell

OLD COMEDY vs. NEW COMEDY

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.