Retro Sitcom Buff Gifts

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

How witness protection really works...

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

A potato's favourite video

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Pamela Anderson Ward.

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"Hey man, the pilots are sick. Do you think you can fly this?" "No problemo, Bart dude." "Otto Pilot"

Warning! This classic 70's comedy contains humour.

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."

'I bet we're the only house in the street with a 3D telly!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Shooting - No. VII

"It's a good thing no one ever found out about this."

Sid James and Tony Hancock.

'It took us a long time, but we finally made it -- take us to Mork and Mindy.'

'Yes, the test shows that you don't actually have a heart. But you can get one from the good doctor in the north.'

'Disgusting! It's a blow-by-blow description of an episode of Terry and June.'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

"One, one Milky Way! Two, two Milky Ways! Three, three Milky Ways! Four Milky Ways! Ah ah ah!!!!!"

'Hello Cynthia, it's me...I thought I'd phone for a natter, Gerald's fallen asleep in front of the TV...trying to program the video.'

"Can Greg come out and play ball with the Feds?"