Retro Tv Buff Gifts

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

'I bet we're the only house in the street with a 3D telly!'

Today, we fondly remember the days when there was more on TV than crap nostalgia shows.

"Peepo deedn't like dat I whas a bandido who used gons to steal corn cheeps."

Everyone remembers the evil goatee. Few recall the Vulcan neck punch.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

How witness protection really works...

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

Tokyo City Limits

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

The Bronze Age of Television

New Course At The New School

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."