Retro Television Fan Gifts

'Can't you finally admit that you were wrong? -- Lawrence Welk is NOT just a passing fad!'

Phil Silvers: Spot the Difference

Sadie, you were around in the sixties

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

"Well if Henry had behaved like that in the 40's! Really"

'Crap' "Ah Channel Five"

'Grandpa always puts his hand over his mouth when he sneezes- He'd hate Carol Vordemann to see his teeth fall out!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Drive in movies.

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Huawei Five-O

The Bronze Age of Television

'Hey! — they're rerunning the Commander Data show!'

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

Munster Island.