Retro Tv Enthusiasts Gifts

'I think I liked it better back when there were only three networks insulting our intelligence.'

Pioneers of Internet Porn

You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Everything was going great until I got to season two episode six. To protest toxic contamination, the angel put on a huge bird suit and drove a tricycle around, yelling "Kaw! Kaw!" and playing "You Spin Me Right Round" on a boombox. It took me 31 years to successfully repress that memory. Thanks a lot, Youtube. It's at the 11:10 mark in the video.

"About this second hand set you sold me..."

'Back in the day, things were simpler...It only took 4 stations to bore us.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

Huawei Five-O

The Bronze Age of Television

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

Mr. Rogers' lockdown

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'Hey! — they're rerunning the Commander Data show!'