Retro Television Enthusiast Gifts

Please be patient. There is nothing wrong with your set.

'The way I understand it, Grandpa spent the wild, psychedelic Sixties mostly watching Ed Sullivan.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Joan Hickson

Before the Internet

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"Your remote control, sire."

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

The Bronze Age of Television

Wild and crazy salmon

Munster Island.

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'