Retro Television Admirer Gifts

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"He's deliciously vintage."

The Old Time Television Channel

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"Whatcha watching, Dad?"

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Huawei Five-O

The Bronze Age of Television

Behold The Horror Of... The Ringing Landline

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

'Hey! — they're rerunning the Commander Data show!'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !