Retro Television Fan Prints

'Can't you finally admit that you were wrong? -- Lawrence Welk is NOT just a passing fad!'

"Well if Henry had behaved like that in the 40's! Really"

'Crap' "Ah Channel Five"

'Grandpa always puts his hand over his mouth when he sneezes- He'd hate Carol Vordemann to see his teeth fall out!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Before the Internet

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Drive in movies.

The Old Time Television Channel

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

The Bronze Age of Television

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

Munster Island.

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'