Retro Show Fan Gifts

'I can't stand the Three Stooges!' , 'Oh, an anti-Shempite, eh?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Before the Internet

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

Old rocker.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Do you do much walking?"

Drive in movies.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Now that I've invented it, I have-this odd compulsion to hold it in my hand whenever I go and glance at it incessantly."

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

We choose to send a cow to the moon and do the other things. Not because they are hard, but because it'll be darn funny!

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."