Retro Entertainment Fan Gifts

Drive in movies.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

Before the Internet

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Old rocker.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Do you do much walking?"

Liam Gallagher.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Punk rocker passing punk codger in street.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

The Four Tops in Concert

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

"I saw Elvis kissing Santa Claus."

"Now that I've invented it, I have-this odd compulsion to hold it in my hand whenever I go and glance at it incessantly."

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'