Retro Comedy Fan Prints

"Hold the line a minute, dear – I'm trying to think what I have on my mind."

"Can Greg come out and play ball with the Feds?"

'Hey you two, take that outside'

"When was this license issued?"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Drive in movies.

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

Moon Line UP

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Trump to Build Wall

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."