Village Humor Gifts

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

Early American Think tank

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Nice six-pack!

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Can you milk a cow?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

"I stink... therefore, I am."