Village Humorist Gifts

Footman and groom talk about the rector's weight in horse terms

Sign reads: 'Kisses ?5.00'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Turtle Trailer Court

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Can you milk a cow?"

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

Robinia Floribunda

"It's been a rainy winter."