Village Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Typical village match. He has his pads strapped to his wellies.'

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

'It will be the population season again before we know it.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

I fart more than that!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

A Venus cow trap.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Get the flock out of here!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

COWS: Spare cow

Early American Think tank

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

Close, but no cigar!

Nice six-pack!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

Robinia Floribunda

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!