Village Life Enthusiast Gifts

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'Bi-polar? But I've never even left the village.'

Country Bumpkin.

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

"Get the flock out of here!"

Slow, Men at Work.

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

A sign in a small town reads "Entering historic Brookfield - A quaint fishing village with a parking problem".

over crowded car.

Cottage cupcakes.

Anyone seen my horns?

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

The Farmer's Return.

'Why don't you try to think outside of the trough once in a while?'

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

'Locusts?'

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'That be the village sane person,sir!'

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

"Looks like grain prices are up."

Farmer complaining about his repair bill.

'I come from a long line of Sunday roasts...'

I'm not sure what's worse, that cows have moved up the food chain, or that Eddie was wearing my boots!

How farmers are made...