Village Life Enthusiast Gifts

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

'Bi-polar? But I've never even left the village.'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Country Bumpkin.

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Our village cricket club' - An umpiring fireman responds to an emergency whilst holding all the cricket team's possessions.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"Get the flock out of here!"

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Slow, Men at Work.

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

A sign in a small town reads "Entering historic Brookfield - A quaint fishing village with a parking problem".

Anyone seen my horns?

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

over crowded car.

Cottage cupcakes.

The Farmer's Return.

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

'That be the village sane person,sir!'

'Why don't you try to think outside of the trough once in a while?'

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'Locusts?'

"Looks like grain prices are up."

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

Farmer complaining about his repair bill.

How farmers are made...

I'm not sure what's worse, that cows have moved up the food chain, or that Eddie was wearing my boots!