Village Life Lover Gifts

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

The Nutmeg-Grater

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

'I'm afraid you're stuck with it, Dwaine. A village idiot CAN'T abdicate.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Country Bumpkin.

Lamb Noise.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Farmers' Warnings.

Twitter that!

Cow and Milk

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

Desert Island Fantasies

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"Can you keep a secret?"

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

2 cows in a boat, about to go over a waterfall: Hang on a minute...or was it cats that had the 9 lives?

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

Easter Ham Free.

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'How now, brown cow?'

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'