Local Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

Early American Think tank

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

The Meeting Agenda: Start Simple

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

The Trench-Sealer

"Very few leave the grove!"

A man walks three dogs at gunpoint

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

A bowls player bowling a bomb

Sinking Cow

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

"We need any eggs?"

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

A cow in a wind tunnel.

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'

Chugger

Hague Convention Defied! Stiffnecking Tommies by Directing Draughts on the British Trenches.

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Hillbilly mall maps.

His Teeth Say 'California' And His Teeth Say 'New Jersey'