Local Humor Lover Gifts

'How very Putney!'

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Got any cud flavour?'

"Very few leave the grove!"

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

'It's got all the original features.'

"This looks like a job for Agman!"

Well, I'm glad the tumble drier broke, actually!

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Oooh! That's handy (Pulling draw out of chest).

Note to self: Learn how to use Dictaphone!

Sinking Cow

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

"We need any eggs?"

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'

"I'm SICK of townies thinking they can let their animals run amok across my land chasing sheep..."

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

POOP-ANGEL!

Hillbilly mall maps.

His Teeth Say 'California' And His Teeth Say 'New Jersey'

"I reckon we've gone too far accommodating them townies."