Local Humor Fan Gifts

Battersea

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

The Snooze Bar.

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

tRUMp, Pirate President

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

No, I don

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

The bird feeder.

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Fish finder."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

"So! When's the big day?"

"Buster, run this past legal."