Village Humorists Gifts

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

I fart more than that!

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

COWS: Spare cow

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Thanks for the heads up on the gelatinous cube!

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Robinia Floribunda

Sheep has it's fur shorn into a tutu.

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"It's been a rainy winter."

"Can you milk a cow?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

A middle aged cow.

This one needs re-booting!

Hey! A PIG CAN DREAM!

Botox!

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!

'You've played Pooh sticks right?'