Neighborhood Humorists Gifts

'How very Blackheath!'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

Robinia Floribunda

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"It's been a rainy winter."

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"I told you everyone was moving out of the city!"

Cook complaining to milkman

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

'Damn! Sex and the City is not on tonight.' 'Does that mean no sex in the suburbs tonight either?'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'