Neighborhood Comedian Gifts

"The homeowners association called to remind you there's no shirtless lawnmowing past age forty-five."

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

Dog Work Ethics

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

Flea in the ear

'Here's your rake, Phil! Can I borrow your snow blower?!'

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

"This is Gladstone, our local lecher..."

"No, you may not borrow a cup of money!"

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"The neighbor's dog just made a deposit in our yard. We're going over there to give him his interest."

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

Robinia Floribunda

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

Manhole Warning

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'How very Blackheath!'

'I just remembered something! We forgot to put 'open bar' on the invitations!'

'But they can't close your local, you're the pub bore!'

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"