Neighborhood Comedy Fan Gifts

"Just a heads up, Jack – I've invited the Navy to use my back yard for bombing practice."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Cars.

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

'Those plug in air-fresheners seem to do the trick.'

"A little to the left. No, too far. Go back three inches and straight down."

Beware of Curmudgeon!

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'How very Blackheath!'

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

Dog Work Ethics

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

"Don't pretend to shoot me, I'll pretend to give you my wallet!"

'...I'm leaving you for Reg next door'

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

Flea in the ear

How very Colliers Wood

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

'You should see what they're doing next door - it's disgusting,'

Ice cream van says 'STOP ME and buy one!' ? kid pulls gun and says: 'One 99 and a raspberry ripple Cornetto, please.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

"Son-of-a-birch!"

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'