Neighborhood Humor Gifts

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'How very Blackheath!'

Dog Work Ethics

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

Flea in the ear

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

Cull people who clear leaves or snow from their sidewalk by shoving it onto their neighbor's.

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

A gardener blowing autumn leaves off a tree - into a neighbour's garden.

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

"How sad! They don't appear to have any gardening equipment for me to borrow!"