Neighborhood Humor Gifts

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'He's training for a career in law.'

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'How very Blackheath!'

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

Dog Work Ethics

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

Flea in the ear

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

Cull people who clear leaves or snow from their sidewalk by shoving it onto their neighbor's.

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

A gardener blowing autumn leaves off a tree - into a neighbour's garden.

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'