Neighborly Humor Gifts

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

Jingle Bell Rock // Silent Night

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'How very Blackheath!'

Dog Work Ethics

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

"Strange!. . . . Other high schools get besieged by headhunters."

Flea in the ear

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

Cull people who clear leaves or snow from their sidewalk by shoving it onto their neighbor's.

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

'We just stopped by to say hello.'

"Just a heads up, Jack – I've invited the Navy to use my back yard for bombing practice."

"The neighbor's dog just made a deposit in our yard. We're going over there to give him his interest."

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house and Phillip wouldn't stop bugging me for a new trampoline, so...'

"Son-of-a-birch!"

'She used to be gagging for it-now she just wants gagging!'

'Even tho' he now lives in a ritz, upscale neighborhood, he hasn't changed a bit!'