Community Humor Gifts

Your mower will be returned...and your neighbour will borrow it.

Turtle Trailer Court

California Beverages Map

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

Robinia Floribunda

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

Cow Moos With A Jersey Accent

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Starbucks closing 600 stores with 12,000 job cuts.

'How very Blackheath!'

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

"I hear you're worth a fortune."

Paint Ball shop has artists painting balls.

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Rise and shine

'But they can't close your local, you're the pub bore!'

'Thunderbird Reserve? If I had known, I would have worn a fresh garbage bag.'

It's a nice neighborhood, but the turnover rate's high.

"Remember what happens in vegans stays in vegans."

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

"Welcome to New Jersey, the 'What is that smell?' state."

Locally Sourced Gossip Here

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'