Community Living Humorist Gifts

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

'How very Blackheath!'

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

'But they can't close your local, you're the pub bore!'

Dog Work Ethics