Community Living Humorist Pillows

Turtle Trailer Court

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

Robinia Floribunda

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"It's been a rainy winter."

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'How very Blackheath!'

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'

'But they can't close your local, you're the pub bore!'

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'