Village Humor Pillows

'Can we put our hands together for a warm Kettlesong Village Hall welcome to Mr Grimby and what should be a riveting talk about the Ice Age.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

I fart more than that!

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

A Venus cow trap.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Early American Think tank

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

COWS: Spare cow

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

Nice six-pack!

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"It's been a rainy winter."

Robinia Floribunda

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'Got any cud flavour?'

"Can you milk a cow?"

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!