Veterinary Surgeons Gifts

#NoJunk

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Haute Suture

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Fill it up!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."