Veterinary Science Gifts

No, no, no! Can anyone here tell me what Mr Mosely's doing wrong?

'Been really busy, Doctor?'

'You should have called me sooner.'

'Yesterday we ran a CBC, a BUN, a liver profile...

Liquid mice.

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

A trip to the vet's.

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"Well, we don't do any vaccinating on our place and none of the survivors ever get sick."

'It'll granulate in.'

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

'I don't see the problem.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'That's true...but so are the worms.'

'Is it an emergency?'

'I'm not sure about the new bone specialist.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'There is so much penicillin in this milk we could use to to treat shipping fever!"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'Oh dear! Something tells me it's going to be one of those days!'

'It's a calf injury.'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"The sheep all have rabies. Pass it on."

Separation

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

"I say, thank goodness for Vets and IVF: No more sleezy singles' bars, no more dating!"

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Kid with pet robot at the vets.

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

'I'm sorry but I'm a small animal vet.'

'Quick, Sable dear, mouth-to-mouth respiration!'

'Doc, you're the only vet I've seen who can palpate both ovaries...