Veterinary Gifts

Why pets need vets.

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

'Always give a grave prognosis, my boy!...'

Dog Plastic Surgery.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'I hope you didn't pay too much for him, Sam....'

'This is one sick dog!'

'...so as soon as I seen the old gal havin' trouble calving.;..'

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

"It turns out your problem is not chronic fatigue. You're just dog tired."

'Do you have anything for Restless Tail Syndrome?'

'You know, Doctor Belling, when you mentioned doing a standing castration,...

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

"No offense, but I'd really prefer to be seen by a dog. I'm sure you understand."

Dog'e eye test.

'Forget those itch creams, do what I do, just put your butt down on the carpet and scoot around the room.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"Have you tried eating grass?"

Lactose Intolerant

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

We've got good definition of your hand, Henderson,...

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Doctor, are you listening to me?'

'Is it harder to work on these big draft mares, Doc?'

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"I just got your test results back. Essentially, as you suspected, you are a superior being."

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Fill it up!"

"Any family history of indifference?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'