Veterinary Care Gifts

'He's hearing impaired.'

'I'm sorry, does that say $777? It should be $111. I mistakenly calculated your bill in dog dollars.'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'And then, this morning, I suddenly noticed she didn't look so good.'

'Call me that one more time and you can find yourself another doctor!'

'You better believe I'm getting a second opinion...CATaracts, my eye!'

'Scamp, this is Doctor Drummond. Stop scratching! Stop it!'

"I guess you're already aware that your dog's rabies is highly infectious?"

Sick Bee

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'If you step up to the curtain, we'll begin the cat scan.'

A dog getting neutered.

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"He wags, but his tail doesn't."

'There's nothing wrong with 'Cutie-Pie' Miss Timpson, but I think you may need glasses.'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'Wait! Hold everything! There's something wrong here!'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

Man dragging dog into Emmett's Fix-It Shop.

Canis Osteoarthritis.

"I found this dying swan."

"You're not a gift horse, are you?"

'Yes, it's toxic, but look: If the host dies, the worms die too!'

''E's going for the 'double'!'

'Level with me, Doc. How bad is it? What's it going to cost?'

'Nocardiosis! Does that mean his heart is gone?'

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

'I have no idea why your throat hurts, but what I can do is write you a small fortune in prescriptions to help mask the symptoms.'

Pet Vaccinations Today.

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"For your vet bills alone we can hire two pups."