Veterinary Health Gifts

'Enough about my worms, tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't try to spare me, Doctor. If it's serious, I want to know the truth.'

'Is it growing?'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Haute Suture

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Fill it up!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head