Veterinary Health Gifts

'Enough about my worms, tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't try to spare me, Doctor. If it's serious, I want to know the truth.'

'Is it growing?'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Fill it up!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'