Animal Health Gifts

'Scamp, this is Doctor Drummond. Stop scratching! Stop it!'

'Level with me, Doc. How bad is it? What's it going to cost?'

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

A cow gynaecologist.

'Hi, Mrs. Moore! It's Dr. Hammerhorn! I just thought I'd call to see if Tippy's got hiccups again like he had yesterday at this hour!"

We've got good definition of your hand, Henderson,...

Pat! Pat! Pat!

"Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps."

'On second thought, Doctor, I think it would be better to just put her to sleep.'

'Why won't he eat milkbones, Doctor?'

Doctor to cow: 'I understand your milking performance anxiety, but I would strongly recommend giving up the tobacco and going back to chewing your cud.'

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

'Make no mistake about it. This is one mad cow!'

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

'Honey!!...I think the dog has worms again.'

'You say, 'his tentacles haven't come down'?'

'No. I'm here with a dog. What made you think it was a horse?'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'He keeps hearing strange ringing sounds.'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'What do you mean, 'He's as healthy as a horse'?'

Dog exiting pharmacy with bone supplement.

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

'Oh, Doctor! Did he hurt you?'

'I not only cured the disease, but also each and every complicating side effect...

"Oh, it's easy to keep them straight - morning pills are wrapped in cheddar, afternoon pills are wrapped in Moz and evening pills are wrapped in pepper jack."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."