Animal Health Aficionado Gifts

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"It's mouseborn."

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"First they tell you you're going in to get your bunions fixed and the next thing you know you're barking like a girl."

"...and the cast should come off in four to six weeks."

'Under the circumstances, I feel that it would be best if you had another doctor!'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood,...

"I got horse dewormer..."

"It hurts when I warble."

'But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO.'

'TB or not TB, that is the question.'

I'll take it off when you stop biting your stitches. Veterinarian.

"It was worth it to get rid of the fleas!"

Animal Band radio.

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'That's ridiculous! Who ever heard of a dog with hives?'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

"Leave the bowl."

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'You think you need WHAT glands expressed?'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'