Livestock Health Enthusiast Gifts

'Would breeding these new leaner type hogs help prevent this greasy pig disease?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"They’re real."

Sick Rancher Humor

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Cheesie Rider

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

The Cattle show Week.

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Ranch Dressing

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'