Animal Health Professional Gifts

'Larry? Remember how we were criticizing the Journal...

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'While you're here, Doctor...'

Needles

'Aaah...Are you the young man whose pet ate the snail bait?'

Python waiting in Veterinary surgery

"Of the thousands of parole officers in this country, I get the one who's also a part-time veterinarian!"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

'His jaw got stuck when he tried to fetch the Sunday paper!'