Animal Health Advisor Gifts

'Has he been watching an awful lot of TV?'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

An inbred poodle.

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

'Doc, I'm plagued with eggeating snakes!'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'I thought you knew I was a small animal doctor.'

'I not only cured the disease, but also each and every complicating side effect...