Pet Healthcare Professional Gifts

Liquid mice.

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Dog Walking Services

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'What's founder?'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Landing That Tough Account

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

'I must smell more.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

Balding dog

'Gee, I wonder where he picked up this behavior?'

'Sorry. We just assumed that since you were picking up his waste, he was the intelligent life form.'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"