Pet Doctor Gifts

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

'The necropsy was a success...but the patient lived!'

Animal Hospital

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dog Walking Services

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Cat Scan

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Protoplasm

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

An inbred poodle.

"It's mouseborn."