Dog Health Gifts

Dog to dog: 'I didn't even know I was broken, but my nice owner is taking me tomorrow to get fixed.'

Dog to vet: 'Be honest. How many more flea and tick seasons do I have left?'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Pick me!"

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Bathing the dog

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"Have you tried biting him?"

Dog on a Shelf.

Dog Walker

'Next!'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"You've already been for a walk."

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

State of the Art Dog.

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.