Pet Illness Gifts

'Is it growing?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Bathing the dog

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Cat Scan

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'What's founder?'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"It's mouseborn."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'I don't think the Doctor will be able to see any more patients today!'

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'