Health-conscious Pet Owner Gifts

Dog eating near dogfood bag: 'Now Gluten Free'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

Dog to vet: 'Be honest. How many more flea and tick seasons do I have left?'

'If you insist on feeding your dog table scraps, fine...'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'Has this slop you fed me been checked for e-coli?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's mouseborn."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

". . .What's this world coming to?"

"And this will protect him from distemper."

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'