Pet Wellness Fanatic Gifts

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Biofelineism

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's mouseborn."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

After Hours in the Pet Shop.

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

"Here's one I spayed earlier"

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

'Fred just rages when he sees how veterinarians are portrayed on TV.'

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

'You say he's had chills and tummy ache?...'

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

"Nothing stinks like a wet dog."

Don't Forget To Lick

'These will be photos for 'A Fat Cat is an Unhappy Cat' leaflet. So, please act accordingly!'

Junk food for dogs.

'You'll have to stop feeding him chicken bones...

"I'm over my allergy attack and would like to try again."

Dog eating near dogfood bag: 'Now Gluten Free'

'There's no joy in his fetching.'

'Four sets of x-rays, three examinations, three labratory profiles...'

'Maybe I'd feel better if I had a facelift.'