Pet Wellness Fanatic Pillows

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Biofelineism

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"It's mouseborn."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

After Hours in the Pet Shop.

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

"Here's one I spayed earlier"

'Fred just rages when he sees how veterinarians are portrayed on TV.'

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

Junk food for dogs.

"I'm over my allergy attack and would like to try again."

Don't Forget To Lick

'You'll have to stop feeding him chicken bones...

"Nothing stinks like a wet dog."

'You say he's had chills and tummy ache?...'

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

'These will be photos for 'A Fat Cat is an Unhappy Cat' leaflet. So, please act accordingly!'

Dog eating near dogfood bag: 'Now Gluten Free'

'Four sets of x-rays, three examinations, three labratory profiles...'

'There's no joy in his fetching.'

'You've GOT to stop worrying about your patients, Doc!'