Pet Health Guru Pillows

"It's mouseborn."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Bathing the dog

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'What's founder?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"Serves you right for licking it!"

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"We agree - 3 words you don't want to hear from the vet - fleas, shots, and diet."

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

Lion with hair straighteners.

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

"Not only does the vet want me to brush the dog's teeth, he wants me to floss it too!"

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

"And this will protect him from distemper."